Arder的眉間瑣語

 [網文]~婚姻幽默(一)~

"By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher."

不管怎麼樣，還是結婚的好。如果你找到一個好太太，你會很幸福。假如你找到一個壞的，你會成為一個哲學家。

Socrates (古希臘的思想家、哲學家，教育家 - 蘇格拉底)

"Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them."

女人給了男人做大事的激勵和靈感，同時又給了男人完成大事的阻力。

Mike Tyson (前美國拳王 - 麥克泰森)

"The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?" 有一個大問題我總是沒答案；那就是『女人到底想要什麼』？”

George Clooney (美國著名演員 - 喬治克魯尼)

"I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me."

我跟我太太才說了幾個字，她卻回了我一段長篇大論。

Bill Clinton (美國前總統- 比爾克林頓)

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."

有人問我婚姻能維持這麼長的秘密。 我們每個星期去餐館兩次。晚餐有燭光，音樂，和跳舞。她星期二去，我星期五去。

George W. Bush (美國前總統 - 小布希)

"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."

我不怕恐怖分子。我已經結婚兩年了。

Rudy Giuliani (前紐約市911事件時的市長 - 魯迪朱利安尼)

"Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming

1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,

2. Whenever you're right, shut up."

有兩個秘密能讓你的婚姻圓滿：

1. 當你錯時，馬上認錯。

2. 當你對時，閉上嘴巴。

Shaquille O’Neal (美國籃球巨星 - 沙奎爾奧尼爾)

"The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once..."

最 有效的方法記住你太太的生日就 是先忘掉一次。

Kobe Bryant (美國籃球巨星 - 科比布萊恩特)

"My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met."

我太太和我都高高興興的過了二十年，然後我們相遇了。

Alec Baldwin (美國電影明星 - 亞歷克鮑德溫 )

"A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong."

一個好太太當她是錯的時候總是原 諒她的丈夫。

Barack Obama (美國總統- 歐巴馬)

"Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy."

婚姻是唯一的敵我睡在一張床上的戰爭。

Tommy Lee (美國老牌電影明星 - 湯米李)

"First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"

Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

有 個人驕傲的說 “我的太太是天使！”

另一個聽到的人說 “你真幸運！我的還活著！”

Jimmy Kimmel (美國著名電視節目主持人 - 吉米金米爾)

“Honey, what happened to ‘ladies first’?” Husband replies, “That’s the reason why the world’s a mess today, because a lady went first!”

“親愛的，女士優先又怎麼了？” 丈夫回答說，”今天世界亂成這個樣子就是因為有女的先來了！“

David Letterman (美國電視著名脫口秀主持人 - 大衛萊特曼)